We tell people when we're going to sleep, and notify the world when we've awoken from our socially regulated slumber. We're most positive in our statuses in the morning, and gradually become more pissed off as the day progresses, to our most negative at 1am. Positive statuses got the most likes, whereas negative ones got the most comments. Those with high friend counts (social whores is a humorous term I heard not so long ago) tend to talk more about sex, negative topics and swear in their statuses.
All recent posts are proof (if any) that we've become a right bunch of close-minded, boring hypocrites: living a second life through social networking that we always say is identical to how you are; but in reality is a whole different person. Now if you excuse me, I'm off to like more shit and post about the breakfast I just had.
I am the Founder and Editor-in-chief of New Rising Media. You can follow me on Twitter @MrJasonEngland.