Why I hate the cinema

A cacophony of crisp packets rustle all around you, a vexatious couple talk throughout the film, a group of youths annoyingly flicker the lights of their phones. Yes the cinema is supposed to be a magical place of visual and audible wonderment but I’m afraid I will never enjoy it in my current state of misanthropy. Forever will I be haunted with sticky floors and broken speakers, I’d much rather enjoy a film from the comfort of my abode thank you very much. Stop trying to lure me out of my house please society, it won’t end well for either of us.