Embracing that emphatic feeling to scream your love for someone from the rooftops is both lame, and will not score you anything within this wonderful planet. So we're here to assist with a cavalcade (three to be precise) of video games that are destined to spice up your chances and bring romance into the air.
Fire up the passion with a delectable tantaliser of any leisure suit larry game. The delectable delights of slowly grooming your partner-to-be in a series of miniature games is both an unusual, yet brutally realistic perspective on the vast world of dating/getting your other half drunk to the point of finding you attractive.
Then move swiftly on with some soul music, the "cheeky arm around" trick while further sensitising your partner with The Guy Game. A cornucopia of easy questions, answered incorrectly by equally uneasy women, ending in the ceremonious lifting of their top-half clothing, and the shortcoming of censorship. Spend a half-hour of loading, setting up and video introductions just for this? The ultimate Cocktease: sure to get the romance bellowing throughout you both.
Then finally (if you've come this far, you'll know how fool proof this plan is by now), proclaim your feelings to her and your intentions by enjoying the voyeur-of-passion that is General Custer's Revenge. Nothing completes an evening of passion than the faint sounds of an Atari 2600 game, as you move your character through a storm of bullets to engage in forced sexual intercourse with the woman on the other side. At this point, the night is settled, go forth and procreate like god intended! But for the majority of us: don't be a fool, cover your tool. Happy Valentines to you all.
We consider you all the loves of our lives.
I am the Founder and Editor-in-chief of New Rising Media. You can follow me on Twitter @MrJasonEngland.