Klout Parody 'Klouchebag' Measures Your Asshattery On Twitter

While the practicalities of being able to put a quantiative score on your social media influence extends far into the business world, the very concept of checking your own coolness is open to strong parody, as new website Klouchebag demonstrates.

This literary genius word-combination of 'Klout' and 'Douchebag' may not extend into the multitude of social networks you may assert yourself on, but the mission is just as valuable: to calculate "how much of an asshat you are on Twitter."

Your douche rating from 0 to 100 is measured on four key criteria:

  • Anger: “profanity and rage.”
  • Retweets: “‘please RT’s, no or constant retweeting, and old-style.”
  • Social Apps: “every useless checkin on foursquare or its horrible brethren.”
  • English Usage: “if you use EXCLAMATION MARKS OMG!!! or no capitals at all, this’ll be quite high.”

The lower your Klouchebag score, the lower your social interpretation as a douchebag.  So we simply had to put this to the test.  We've taken this golden opportunity to assign a Klouchebag score to some celebrity Twitter accounts, and others that matter more to us here at NRM.  Let's just say we expected some to be bad; but not this bad:

Justin Bieber a 'bit of a douchebag.'

Piers Morgan is 'Prat of the Year:' the highest score on Klouchebag

I'm 'mostly alright.'  Scored too low in my opinion, and I'm ashamed by the English misuse.

The University I went to

The University our music editor goes to

We're nice people.  I approve of this.

Jason England