I’ll be honest… I’m writing this article in an attempt to defend myself in the face of sheer Love Actually related embarrassment. While speaking to my girlfriend about this wonderful film, I let drop that my understanding of Joe’s famous line to Billy Mack is “Ten minutes at Elton John’s, and you’re as gay as a meatball,” rather than “maypole.”
This led to a chorus of laughters from her entire family (who I was trying hard to impress at that time), followed swiftly by a Facebook post publicly outing me for a complete buffoon and woefully uneducated.
But you see, after this savage destruction of ones’ own filmic confidence, I’m writing to prove two things - it’s 100% logical to believe this to be the quote, and it’s not just me.
Let’s kick off. “Gay as a maypole” is a double-barrelled reference, relating to both the gay (happy) celebration of dancing around the streamer covered maypole, and the fact that a Maypole is the banner staff of the Merry Mount gay colony.
To say someone is as “Gay as a meatball” is a far more culturally insensitive-yet-British insult, as another archaically common name for a meatball in these parts is a “faggot.”
Even though the joke is in very poor taste (and I’ve just ruined it by explaining it to you), it is a very fair assumption to make of a heavily accented exclamation by Gregor Fisher in a 2003 British Romantic Comedy - a strange time for England’s cultural tolerance.
Now for point two. All it takes is one simple internet search, and you can see just how many people got the same idea as me.
And this right here
"10 minutes at elton's and you're as gay as a meatball" 😂😂😂 i found that far funnier that it is— jake (@JakeHall_) December 24, 2016
Shoutout to Alison, who received the same level of humiliation last year
Go one year further back, it’s clear Love Actually shows EVERY Christmas (as it should) and people still get it mixed up.
"The people I love is…in fact…you."— luce skywalker (@thingslucyreads) December 25, 2014
"Well this is a surprise. Ten minutes at Elton John's and you're as gay as a meatball!"
So, all of this evidence leads me to one question - am I actually wrong? Did Fisher legitimately say “maypole” in his thick accent, or is there a chance that he said “meatball?”
There it is - possible vindication and an opportunity to rub the truth in my girlfriend’s face, so I have taken this to the highest level possible… Emailing the agent of Richard Curtis, the writer of Love Actually, to get this confirmed from the original source!
We look forward to reading his response on this oh-so-important question.
There are no two ways to say this - smartphones are boring and Mobile World Congress has exposed this. If the biggest news story coming out of Barcelona is the return of Nokia's feature phone, then we have a problem...
The Misfit Ray is a sleek and inconspicuous fitness tracker, which sacrifices accurate data for a fashionable design - perfect for the fashion conscious.
Google tried with balloons. Facebook has drones. Now, British mobile provider EE has joined the fight to provide rural communities with phone signal - using both high-flying balloons and drones.
A group of seven exoplanets have been found orbiting the star, known as Trappist-1, by NASA. This amazing discovery has raised hopes in the hunt for alien life and other planets for the human race to colonise.
It’s a common story - you access Facebook’s privacy settings and lock down your account, to prevent your data falling into the wrong hands. But how much of your activity, in spite of changing those settings, is still public? Well, a Belgian white hat hacker made the site ‘Stalkscan’ to find out.
Now that Snapchat Spectacles are available online, the sheen of vending machine-related exclusivity is now off. That makes this the perfect time to post a long term review of my own pair.
Global Gene Corp and GA4GH (Global Alliance for Genomics and Health) are delighted to announce the launch of ggINDIA, the first ever beacon for Indian genomics data. This Beacon joins those already on the Wellcome Genome Campus supplied by EMBL-EBI and the Wellcome Trust Sanger Institute. I will get the obvious question out the way - what on Earth is genomics data? Let's find out...
Struggling to sleep? You’re not alone, as 22% of Britons feel the same way. Luckily, research has found a cure - spending time outdoors away from artificial light sources, such as your smartphone or laptop. Doing this can reset your biological clock and help you sleep longer.
With the tenth anniversary of iPhone being this year, many of us are expecting a big redesign with new features - that is exactly what the “best Apple analyst on the planet” has said. Finally, late to the party, wireless charging will be coming to Apple’s smartphone this year.
When photography was invented in the early 1800s, it wasn’t long before people realised that you could develop a 3D image if you overlaid the same image at a slightly different angle. This gave birth to Victorian Stereoscopes, which was the first step the human race took towards 3D pictures, movies and Virtual Reality.
I am the Founder and Editor-in-chief of New Rising Media. You can follow me on Twitter @MrJasonEngland.