How to avoid complimenting (proverbially wiping the arse of) facebookers this holiday

This applies only to people who have avoided the recent: "Message me a number and I'll status about you."  Keep your head above the rat race.  Never post the words "Like my status and I'll tell you what I feel about you."  Don't be insecure that you feel the urge to wait in a metaphorical line with your number, just to be complimented.  Always publicly complain about others' tendency to do this; but ensure you articulate in a humourous way.  That way you'll get girls.  Memes are acceptable for this, feel free to use this one to illustrate your distaste.