How to own an iPhone, minus the obnoxious swagger

So you have the iPhone 4S, good.  But step out of the reality distortion field of owning an Apple cellular telephone and you start realise something: iPhone owners can be dicks when they want to be (I know because I can be).  So we've elected to lend a helping hand, and offer a few key steps on how to avoid looking like the pinnacle of douche-baggery.

Don't call it an iPhone; it's a phone. Don't use the Apple stickers packaged with the product. Enjoy your iPhone; but never get into an argument over it against another phone; you'll never win. Do not use any Steve Jobs adjectives: your phone isn’t gorgeously contoured or precisely manufactured.  Never talk about the camera: it may be fantastic (on par with a Canon EOS 5D), but it makes for a pretentious statement. Don't habitually flick the silencer switch on and off in plain sight, keep that to your pocket. Don’t fight the fact that the iPhone is good at everything except being a phone. Never jailbreak: iPhone guys thinking their better than other iPhone guys? Disaster.