Dear iPhone, I’m leaving you for Google Pixel 4

For over a decade, I’ve been in a loving relationship with Apple’s smartphone line.

Don’t get me wrong – the pull of Android has always been there. At one point, with the Samsung Galaxy S2, the pull succeeded. But before long, I was quickly back with my iPhone 4S. Like an ex you always go back to, Apple is a comforting bosom of software and hardware integration that “just works” for you.

But that relationship has become rather tired over the past couple of years. They just weren’t who you thought they were… With the sheer amount of money they have, the opportunity is there to do something incredible. I’m like TLC; I don’t want no scrub.

Yet, given this opportunity they have, year after year, they continue to drag their heels. It’s never about what you want, it’s about what they think you want. And what they think you want is a slightly faster processor, a third camera (but only if you pay enough) and a matte glass back.

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When what you really want is simple – something new. You want to go back to a time when they pulled out all the stops to impress you. Kicking down the doors of a slow-moving phone market and introducing true innovation.

Every passing year, you tell yourself it’ll get better. They will change and you will see that spark you fell for all those years ago. But it doesn’t.

Under the weight of (admittedly) overblown expectations (looking at you, iPhone rumour dirt sheets) and the egotistical belief they are better than everyone else, to the point that you will stick around no matter what, they have stopped trying to add a little zest and pip.

The relationship has hit a plateau, and you don’t even believe yourself when you say “this is what settling down feels like,” as you look upon a phone line-up with no 5G, no battery capacity declarations, no bilateral wireless charging and no significant updates to the display hardware (no high refresh rate either).

They try to keep you around – in Apple’s case, they just changed the names around so the R version of the phone is now the main numbered iPhone, and the top-of-the-range version is now adorned with the “Pro” moniker. But deep down, beneath the Dolby Atmos and minor spec bumps, you know they’re still the same.

And the only way to break the cycle is to take the leap. Head on out into the big, wide world on your own and see what’s new. It’s scary – you never want to say it, as you feel saying those words are tantamount to committing adultery. But it’s not. You deserve more.

After all, once you hit the open floor, you’ll see the Samsung Galaxy S10 winking at you from the corner, the OnePlus 7 dropping you a casual gaze, the Sony Xperia range showing off their thin, tall form. Sure, the iPhone is there too, but you’ve fallen for their VIP booth of pomp and circumstance before. But rumours are emanating about an option you should really hold out for.

From it’s ability to take astrophotography – marrying night mode with a phenomenal long exposure mode, to a huge focus on the cameras producing more true-to-life results than the iPhone, a big bump in specs to join the top-of-the-line, and AI integrations you could only dream of with Apple, Google Pixel 4 may just be that option.

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Just head to the bar, grab a drink while the dancefloor gets busy and bide your time. I’m confident you’ll both hit it off.

Plus, don’t even get me started on the Brexit bump-up of iPhone prices…